Forgiveness

In the book I'm reading now, there's this topic about forgiveness and I thought why not write something about it. It's the one thing I've had a really hard time dealing with. It has been my perennial struggle even when I took my christianity seriously. Forgiveness was a far out thought for me. I just couldn't put two and two together like having to forgive someone who's not even asking for your forgiveness. Why would I have to forgive somebody who did me wrong and whom I despise so much? It just doesn't make sense.

Little did I know that forgiveness is not really given to free the other person from a grudge (well, that's part of it), but moreover, it's for my own healing! I've learned that forgiveness is a choice and a decision you make. That you can't wait for yourself to feel like forgiving because it's not going to happen ever. Our nature is to seek revenge, not to forgive. During one of our church's activities which is being done yearly (you only need to attend once), there was this session where I have to forgive those I have an animosity with. I have to renounce all bitterness that I hold in my heart. I became stiff. I just couldn't do it. No way! Thank God for Tess, my cell leader, who was so patient with me. She helped me face my "monster". I was sweating. I was jittery. I thought I heard voices telling me not to do it. But when I finally was able to release all of them, whose names were written on my little note pad, I felt calmness around me.

Well, that was just the beginning. It's God's grace that I am freed from it daily.

"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:14-15

Prayers For Rebekah

Please join me in prayer for Rebekah and her family. Click on to the title of this post to bring you to her site. Let's pray together for healing and deliverance.

"For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37

"For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." Matthew 18:20

The Bondage Breaker

As I've flipped through the last few pages of The Wife... next in my reading pipeline is The Bondage Breaker by Neil Anderson. This is about breaking free from negative thought patterns, control irrational feelings and break out of sinful behavior. This book illustrates spiritual warfare which will also remind us, Christians, the truth of who we are in Christ and what it means to be a child of God. I believe this will help open our eyes and equip us to be victorious in every battle the enemy tries to win over us.

"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:57

My Heartfelt Thanks

I'm having so much fun reading all your posts. It makes me feel like I'm around so many friends. Believe it or not, you all keep me company while I'm on my lonesome. I'm constantly encouraged by the entries of my Christian cyber friends.

I also get to express my thoughts and emotions through this, and it feels great to be able to give someone hope through the simple writing that I do. More than the pleasure of being appreciated, I love the thought that I can make God smile up there through what I do.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you all for being sisters and brothers-in-Christ. Thank you for the prayers you sent our way. My heartfelt thanks to all of you.

God bless!

Faith

In all of your circumstances,
Look for God’s blessing.
Look for His joy
And His love everlasting.

Seek out God’s goodness
In a world of tears and sorrow.
Seek out His hope
In the dawn of tomorrow.

Let His peace fill your heart,
Let His hand and word guide you.
Know that you are never alone
For He always walks beside you.

Let His love be your strength,
His trustworthiness your shield.
Be courageous as He goes before you,
His victory to yield.

Walk forward in faith,
Let the Lord work His ways.
His unfailing love is with you
For all of your days.

God, Our Mighty Healer

"Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security." Jeremiah 33:6

Let's join together in prayer for this precious girl, Rebekah.

"Rebekah is a wonderfully active three year old with lots of energy to spare. She lives with her mommy and daddy and her younger sister Sarah. In the end of 2004 we found out Rebekah likely had Cerebral Palsy as well as some other muscular/neurological issues. It took 6 months for us to get over that and get her started with special classes to help her grow to her fullest potential. Now she has been diagnosed with inoperable cancer in her face and neck (Ewing's Sarcoma). This Blog is about how this beautiful little girl (and her family) are coping with life on a day to day basis."

Nothing is impossible with God.

Father, I thank you for giving us power for any situation in life through the precious name of Jesus, Amen.

Rudeness... How Do You Handle It?

A friend called me yesterday, just about the time I finished posting. She said that someone wants to talk to me. "Mark?" I asked. (A common friend whom we haven't seen for a long time now) "Nope, she's...blah, blah, blah" Ok, I think I know who she is. Let's call her A. A was a college friend. We used to hang out a lot during those days. After graduation we went on our separate ways but would still see each other once in awhile with our other girl friends. After getting married, we saw each other less and less until we lost touch completely.

She greeted me with a hi and hello and an insensitive remark which annoyed me. It could be a joke (a sick one!), maybe she's just trying to be funny, but I felt really offended. I thought that she should have known better since according to her, she just had a miscarriage last month. I don't see why blurting out a tactless comment about losing my two boys should be amusing at all. You think she halted after that? Nope! She went on saying "Do you even pray?" That's it!!! She pressed all the wrong buttons this time!

Do I even pray??? I bet she prayed her heart out during that time when her doctor announced that dreaded news about her baby. Did she get her answer WHY it happened? Does that mean she didn't pray enough? My DH and I together with a whole bunch of others have been praying for a safe pregnancy. Matt died. Does that mean we didn't pray enough? God knows all the answers, I don't. I grieved with the death of my two boys. And I certainly won't tolerate anyone making fun of my loss!

I could have easily snapped back at her but I cried out to God instead. I prayed for strength and wisdom. I called up a friend from church to pray for me. My DH was fuming mad when he learned about what happened.

How am I now? I have God's peace and promise with me. And I'm not just about to let go of that.

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

A Wife After God's Own heart

I'm currently reading a book written by Elizabeth George - A Wife After God's Own Heart. I bought this book so I can read it simultaneously with my DH's A Husband After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth's hubby, Jim George. It gives a lot of valuable pointers on how to have a great marriage after God's own heart. Husband and wives ought to know their roles in the family and what God has to say about it. It doesn't just talk about raising children and money matters, it also talks about proper communication, even enjoying intimacy and a whole lot of other relevant issues.

"One secret to marital bliss is for a wife to love her husband the way God designed for her to love him—even with his shortcomings. God hasn’t called a woman to change her husband, but to focus on her calling as a wife. And the rewards for doing so are rich!"

I recommend this to all wives out there. This will aid you in keeping a marriage after God's own heart.

"Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them." Colossians 3:18-19

Perfect Timing

As I went through some of my stuff I left in my mom's house after getting married, I saw an old Bible which a friend of mine gave me nine years ago. I flipped through its pages and saw a piece of paper with notes written on it, with my hand writing. I couldn't remember why I wrote and where I got it from, but I find it most useful now more than ever. Here goes:

• In this natural world, there will always be things happening that will try to shake your faith. You've got to make up your mind that you really believe God is able. Then trust Him.

• You must trust God completely and stop trying to figure out what you will do if God doesn't come through for you because that will never happen. There is nothing too hard or impossible for God.

• No matter what the obstacle is, God is able!

• You have to begin to act as though God's promises are already yours. All that the Father has is yours! So if that's true, then act like it's true.

• You see, it's up to you. You have a part to play in receiving God's blessings. Receiving everything God has for you is not up to God because God has already provided you with every blessing and benefit you would ever need in life.

• God doesn't fail. People sometimes just give up too soon and quit. If you don't quit on God, God won't quit on you.

Truly, God is there when you need Him the most. He makes His presence known in ways we don't expect Him to. Talk about perfect timing.

Dreams

I was awaken by a dream the other night. It felt so real. I thought it was real.

In my dream, my DH finally went home from the States. I was so surprised to see him outside our house and was so happy to see him back. Everything seemed so perfect and then I woke up. Later that morning, I texted my DH to tell him about it. He said that he had the same dream. He asked his friend to pick him up from the airport and didn't tell me he's coming home because he wanted to surprise me.

Wow! That's amazing and how sweet! Then it got me thinking. How often do we really experience having the same dream with another person? Why did we have the same dream? I must admit, it scared me at first. Jec, with his usual inspiriting way, told me that maybe it's one way of God telling us that we're going to be together again really soon. Or maybe God wants us to stay close even in our dreams. Maybe... I'd like to think that with God on our side, with God leading us every step of the way, my DH and I are assured that we're in good hands. That dream we had could only mean something good.

As I'm typing this now, my DH just texted me and said he's about to go to slumberland. Told him that I'll see him again in my dream. **wink**

Missing You

You're in my mind but out of sight
You fill my thoughts day and night;
I know you're doing the right thing
A brighter future this will bring.

As these days go on by
You will see time will fly,
soon enough we'll be together
And life will be much better.

I miss you, Babe

Jeremiah 29:11

Still adjusting to my new life without my DH and I hope and pray that this temporary set up will be over soon. I was so depressed yesterday because I wanted so much to call him and to text him but I couldn't. I felt so helpless. He didn't have his own phone yet and I didn't know where to call him because they were constantly on the road traveling from San Francisco to Las Vegas to Los Angeles and back again. I cried and cried for hours while asking God for help. I called up TCT for prayer and good thing there was this nice lady, Faith, who was so patient with me as I poured out my emotions to her. The weather was gloomy just like my mood. It was raining hard outside. Two hours after that phone conversation with Faith, my DH texted me his new number which means he already has his own phone! Yes!!! I was so ecstatic! Oh, God, thank you! My mood changed in a snap. Even if it was raining hard, I thought it was a wonderful day!

Later that afternoon, I attended the service. Our pastor was discussing about who God is then all of a sudden I heard him say "Jesus will remove you from your present situation". I was struck dumb by what I have heard. I thought, God, are you talking to me? I knew right there and then that God, indeed, has a an extremely good plan for my husband and I.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I went home with a smile.

Life's Lesson

I have to keep myself occupied to put my thoughts and emotions at rest, even for just a while. To start off, I was offered a consultancy job for a newly established phonecard company that caters to PhilAms. That would be a great way to keep me busy aside from doing my regular job. And of course, I blog hop as often as I can and post new entries too.

I found this interesting article Corry wrote on the comment page of Mary Rose's "No More Mr. Nice Guy" entry. It's about one brilliant way the mother showed her daughter the kind of person she can choose to become as she is faced with life's unending trials. Three pots. Carrots, Eggs and Coffee beans. All three were put to boil. Each reacted differently.

When adversity knocks on our door, how do we respond?

Are we like the carrots that seem strong, but with pain and adversity, do we wilt and become soft and lose our strength?

Or are we like the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did we have a fluid spirit, but after a trial, have we become hardened and stiff? Does our shell look the same, but on the inside are we bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or are we like the coffee bean that actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If we are like the bean, when things are at their worst, we get better and change the situation around us.

This article made me do a lot of thinking. Something to ponder and learn from.

And finally, the most noteworthy of all was the fact that the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; that you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

How do we handle adversity? Are we like the carrots, the eggs or the coffee beans?

Don't tell GOD how big your storm is. Tell the storm how big your GOD is.

"We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

Sentimental Fool

I would like to thank Corry, Cindy-lou, Darlyn, Jovel, Melo, Allan and my cell group members for all their prayers. It means a lot to us. Thank you!

It has been four days since my DH left but it feels more like it has been four years. After going back to our house last weekend, I felt so alone, though I'm with a helper. Some of the things he left behind are still neatly tucked in its original place. Like his toothbrush, it's still in the toothbrush holder together with mine. I didn't pull it out because it makes me feel like he's just around. His shampoo is still in our shower rack. I opened his closet and hugged all his shirts as if I was hugging him. I didn't change bed sheets and I slept on his side of the bed. Call me a sentimental fool, but I'll do everything possible to stay close to him. After five long distance calls from him in four days, I feel like it's still not enough. I guess I just miss him that much... so much.

Now going to the mall, the grocery, to my doctor, to the salon, eating out and a whole lot of other stuff we used to do together wouldn't be the same again. Albeit I understand why this has to be the way it is for now, it's that hard because we haven't been away from each other since we got married.

Everytime he calls, he assures me of his love and tells me to take good care of myself while he's away. And I tell him the same thing. I wish I could say that missing him gets easier everyday because even though I'm one day further from the last time I saw him, I'm one day closer to the next time I will. It's just that right now, I haven't came to that point yet.

Thank you for taking time to read my sentiments. Prayers for me and my husband will be greatly appreciated. God bless you all.