The Spa

Friday, April 22, 2005
After so much grieving, well, we still do. I can still recall the numbness I felt... We need to relax a little to keep our sanity!!! Good heavens, we need a break!

Just came from the spa. It's such a refreshing feeling. As they say, old habits are hard to break. Would you pass on a full body scrub, a milk bath and an aromatic body massage? I won't! Why would I? That's so heavenly! Right Jen??? c",)

When God Doesn't Make Sense

Friday, April 15, 2005
It has been quite awhile since the last time I accessed this site. So much has happened. Some were pleasant... some were, well... Have you ever been in a situation where you thought everything was going so well then boom! The most frightening thing that you never thought would happen again, did. It happened to us. So many questions were left unanswered, most of them were "Whys". It left me and my husband absolutely shattered and heartbroken for the second time around. The pain I felt was excruciating - more than the physical pain that I had to endure. I don't understand why God allows such a horrible thing to happen to people who love Him so dearly. It's when God doesn't make sense at all.

It took awhile before I could talk about it openly. I was so engulfed with depression, anger and confusion that I would go berserk with grief. My husband, though also going through the same emotion I am going through, can handle the whole situation without much resentment. He is still hurting and so am I. He helped me stand on my feet again. It was hard but it didn't leave me much choice - it's either despair or the acceptance of His sovereignty. Those were the alternatives. My husband and I have chosen to hold on to God.

Weeks after, I can now smile again and look at the future with hope. God has a higher purpose and though we may not have all the answers to our questions now, God simply said "Trust Me". Like Job, I am now able to say, "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him" Job 13:15.

This is in memory of our two sons who are now with our Almighty - Sean and Matthew - whom we love so deeply. We will see you again in God's time...

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