Your Will Be Done

Wednesday, May 31, 2006
That was my prayer last night after I saw my doctor again for my check-up. On our way home, I was talking to God with my eyes shut and singing, "God will make a way, where there seems to be no way..." Deep down inside I really felt like crying but there's this voice that kept telling me, "I know. Trust me. Everything will be okay" I knew that that was the voice of God speaking to me. No, the doctor didn't tell us any bad news. My killer cells are not in their usual raging mode so far, everything's under control. She just told us the steps we're taking in the days ahead. It's when we started computing the amount that we need to spend for the treatment that shook us a bit.

At home...

"Babe, do you believe that God will make a way?" I asked.

"Yes," he said.

"Are you worried?" I asked again.

"Well, I can't help it. Yes, I'm a bit worried," he said.

"God will provide. He said He will. You'll see." Then he proceeded to give me my shot. Tears were forming in my eyes because of the pain but I kept telling myself that this is all worth it and "Lord, your will be done."

Pains And Worries

Monday, May 22, 2006
We went to my immunologist last Saturday morning for my check up. I was given a list of blood tests that I have to do again. I was prescribed to take Prednisone tabs and Clexane shots daily... again. On our way home while we're still in the car, I couldn't help crying. I can't brush off the thought of how painful each shot is, plus how expensive my medicines are. I was worried sick! When some friends and family learned about this, they were all so worried about me too, especially my dad. I can't blame them, they knew what I've gone through and how complicated it was.

I kept telling God how scared I was and asked Him to strengthen me. I was encouraged after hearing what our pastor preached that afternoon. It's like as if God was telling me, "Daughter, fear not for I am here to take care of you." All of a sudden I felt like my worries were lifted up from me. Back home, I still feel the pain each time Jec gives me the shot, but I know that God is holding my hand and I could almost hear Him say, "Daughter, it's okay. I'm here with you."

I've stopped asking God why. I've just embraced the truth that He knows best.

My Prayer

Monday, May 15, 2006
Dear God,

Thank you for blessing us, for loving us, for taking care of our needs, for giving us each other, for our friends, our families...

Thank you for understanding us; for laughing and crying with us; for the joy, peace and hope you give us...

Thank you for being faithful to your words...

Thank you for hearing our prayers...

Bless me, my husband, our families and friends...

May your name be glorified in everything we do...

In Jesus' name I pray,


Hard Facts Of Life

Wednesday, May 10, 2006
I know it's been a while since I last posted. I'm sorry for not being able to touch base with you. I've been quite busy with a lot of things lately. Not everything turned out the way we hoped for though. It's hard to accept things sometimes especially when you don't get that something that you've wanted so badly. But life has to go on, life doesn't stop here. Reasons do not always make sense unfortunately, but that's life. There are things that we just have to accept and let go.

That's the hard facts of life.

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