Cell Group

I feel so blessed for having a support group that we could really count on - our cell group.
We can tell them our problems and they won't be judgmental. We can tell them our needs and they will gladly pray for us. We can tell them our plans and they will remind us to talk to God about it. When we were on cloud nine, they rejoiced with us. When we were in the deeps, they cried with us. We meet every week to share our experiences and blessings, to encourage one another, to pray for each other, to study the Word and to have a wholesome fun.

"Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven." Matthew 18:19

This certainly helped me and my husband to grow more in our faith and to stay focused on God's promises to us. We're grateful to be a part of a group like this which helps us remember what our priority should be, that is to put God first in everything we do.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

"Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." Colossians 3:17

Little Angels In Heaven

I first read this poem just this morning. Got this from Laura of M.I.S.S. It says a lot about what's inside of me.

No one sees the broken heart
That lies beneath my smile
No one sees the loneliness
That's with me all the while
Silent tears gently fall
That others do not see
For my precious child
Who meant the world to me.

~Author Unknown

Thank you Laura for posting this poem in M.I.S.S., Det for introducing me to this wonderful group and Aps for all the kind words and the prayers.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day. It's my most dreaded day ever since that unthinkable event in my life happened. I don't really have anything against this day. It's just that it reminds me of the torturing emotional pain I went through.

One of my dear friends told me that Sean and Matthew sure are proud of how I fought for them. She also said that I'm in every right a mom. Come to think of it, I never really thought of it that way. That actually made me feel great. I told my husband about it. He said he agrees and he's proud of me.

That changed my whole outlook about Mother's Day. They're right! I was Sean and Matthew's mom and I will forever be.

The Spa

After so much grieving, well, we still do. I can still recall the numbness I felt... We need to relax a little to keep our sanity!!! Good heavens, we need a break!

Just came from the spa. It's such a refreshing feeling. As they say, old habits are hard to break. Would you pass on a full body scrub, a milk bath and an aromatic body massage? I won't! Why would I? That's so heavenly! Right Jen??? c",)

When God Doesn't Make Sense

It has been quite awhile since the last time I accessed this site. So much has happened. Some were pleasant... some were, well... Have you ever been in a situation where you thought everything was going so well then boom! The most frightening thing that you never thought would happen again, did. It happened to us. So many questions were left unanswered, most of them were "Whys". It left me and my husband absolutely shattered and heartbroken for the second time around. The pain I felt was excruciating - more than the physical pain that I had to endure. I don't understand why God allows such a horrible thing to happen to people who love Him so dearly. It's when God doesn't make sense at all.

It took awhile before I could talk about it openly. I was so engulfed with depression, anger and confusion that I would go berserk with grief. My husband, though also going through the same emotion I am going through, can handle the whole situation without much resentment. He is still hurting and so am I. He helped me stand on my feet again. It was hard but it didn't leave me much choice - it's either despair or the acceptance of His sovereignty. Those were the alternatives. My husband and I have chosen to hold on to God.

Weeks after, I can now smile again and look at the future with hope. God has a higher purpose and though we may not have all the answers to our questions now, God simply said "Trust Me". Like Job, I am now able to say, "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him" Job 13:15.

This is in memory of our two sons who are now with our Almighty - Sean and Matthew - whom we love so deeply. We will see you again in God's time...