Thank you for praying for Mom and Dad. God finally granted us Mom and Dad's complete healing. It may not be in the way we expected it, but Mom and Dad are together again with our Heavenly Father and are now happy and completely healed.
Hello. It has been ages since I last posted here. I've been doing a lot of thinking and finally came to a very hard decision. This will be my last post for Pia's Journal. As I read back my old posts, I realized that since I started blogging at 2004, everything was about challenges, disappointments and trials of different kinds. I've waited for a long time to change the theme of this blog, but it didn't happen. That's okay though.
2015 is a new year and I'm starting a new life. Some would say it's been long overdue, but I say it's better late than never. Besides, as the saying goes - Life begins at 40.
As I venture into a new beginning, I have also decided to cease blogging. I'm not saying it will be forever. Who knows, I might just start a new one. In the mean time, I'm closing this chapter book of my life and am very excited to step into my new life.
Here's wishing you all a very HAPPY and BLESSED NEW YEAR!
I wasn't able to post this last Christmas, but I'm still posting it anyway.
I know I may sound like a broken record when I say that I'm in pain, but that's the sad, awful truth. For somebody like me who's having flares often this season of my life, pain is something I have to live with. It's hard to explain how painful is painful when I do go through it. I wish I can, for 5 minutes, to transfer this pain to somebody who's curious or even judgemental on how I feel when pain is there, then I'll take it back just so they will have the "feel" of what it's like to have this chronic illness. But of course I know that wouldn't happen. They just simply wouldn't understand until they experience it themselves.
Today, I still feel a little bit of pain in my arms, but it's less painful than usual. Days like these I rejoice because I can move without pain getting in the way. This actually makes me appreciate life in a new perspective. When you're living in pain most days and suddenly you wake up without it or less of it, you'll understand me when I say it's a time for rejoicing. All I can utter is THANK YOU, LORD!
I wish everyday I will be pain free. I wish everyday I won't feel tiredness or brain fogs. I wish I can be "normal" again.
Looking back when I was barely a teenager, now I understand why I felt the way I did. Why I had those episodes where no concrete explanation was available. Today, they're all making sense. Different kinds of autoimmune diseases struck me in the past - Guillen Barre Syndrome, Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome to name a few. All life threatening, but I survived them all. I feel like my body is being overhauled now that finally this lupus thing came out, the mother of all these sickening autoimmune diseases I had in the past. Now that it's identified, I can now deal with it head on.
I don't ask God why me because really, that's one question that I'll tell you you're wasting your time asking. God has a purpose. He knows what He's doing. He knows me even before I was born. He already plotted the path I will have to take. In short, everything I'm going through will not surprise Him because He knew all along. And since I trust Him with all my life, I am assured that the best days are yet to come.
Friends, thank you for praying. I also pray for all of you. I don't need to know who you all are because God knows. I pray that you be blessed in all aspects of life.
... That I'm always excited every morning. Excited to start my day. Excited to know what God has planned for me today. I like my new outlook on life now. It's like I have a new set of eyes. Speaking of eyes, I've also noticed
... That lately my vision became blurry. Maybe it's because of the meds I'm taking. If this worsens, then I have to go back to my rheumatologist. Maybe she will lower the dosage a bit. Maybe. I don't know.
... That I can now boldly ask God for whatever in faith, in the true sense of it. I just have the confidence now to ask God with boldnesss.
... That I am calmer now.
... That I am more at peace with myself.
I believe this is a good thing. Though life has been full of challenges, God's word remained steadfast.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
Hi friends! How are you today? Hope all is well with you.
I'm recovering fast by God's grace. I'm feeling much better now. Life has to go on and I thank God for the miracles I receive everday. I can now walk with much ease. There are just times when pain can be a little bit unbearable. I know this is just temporary because my body is still adjusting to the meds I've been taking. The difficult part of my daily routine is taking a shower. It takes me a little bit longer now because I have to watch my step in the bathtub and put on all the lotion and sunblock before heading out. Other than that, everything is pretty much going back to normal. Oh, I might have to hire a temporary nanny/girl friday to assist me around.
I will have my next check up on Monday, day after my birthday. Please pray that the results will come out normal. I'm actually excited to see the doctors' faces when they see how much I've improved.
I've inserted a link on my header about lupus awareness so people will understand what it is, what it actually does to one's body and how to prevent flares. Please visit the link when you have time.
Here's a photo taken earlier.
There's a cute story behind this photo. The guy standing is my ex-boyfriend, Jed. The one beside him is his lovely wife, Tim. The guy sitting beside me is Tim's ex-boyfriend, Ryan. Ryan and I are from the same company. We closed the deal on both Jed and Tim. Nice, huh?
I thought I was getting better. I thought I was okay. I never thought I could be in denial on how I truly feel. I easily cry. I easily get irritated. I'm often at a loss for words. I forget things a lot. I feel like I'm floating in the air. I have a short attention span. If you don't know me at all, you'd probably think I'm on drugs.
This afternoon I had a realization of what really is wrong with me. Why I feel more like a zombie.
I got lost along the way and I couldn't seem to find my way back home. I tripped on life's bumps and I couldn't seem to muster enough strength to get up. I lost focus. I thought after I wiped out my debts, I'd be fine and happy. Really, I'm not. I feel terribly lost and empty.
Why is that?
I made an awful mistake of putting God in the back seat. I never thought I'd fall for this trap, but I did.
I attend service every week. I attend prayer and worship nights every week. But I was just going through the motion and not really doing it for the Lord. It was an act... an empty act.
I went out of town. I watched a movie. I got a massage every week. And yet, I feel sicker than ever.
I'm always tired. I'm always having headaches. No matter how much I eat, I'm losing weight.
My conversation with Diane, a fellow Christian, was I think more of a conversation with God. When I was asked what's the root cause of all these. I simply said, "I don't really know." But as I told her everything I was feeling, she asked me one question that changed everything.
"How's your relationship with the Lord?"
I've realized that I put God away. I was using my own strength to solve my problems. No wonder I was always tired and sickly. No wonder my stress level is beyond me.
Diane told me something that stuck. There's really nothing out there. At the end of the day, it's still all about Him.
It's true. It's never about money, relationships, family, work... It's all about Him.
Wow, can't believe it's already Thursday and February is almost over. How time flies!
Today I am thankful that I am in a good place. By that I simply meant I am healthy, my bills are getting paid on time, my business is doing well, I have clarity of mind, I have joy in my heart, I have loyal friends and most of all I am happy.
Some people couldn't understand why I can be in a good place when someone important in my life is missing. Some people couldn't reconcile the thought of me happy when something major in my life is pending. You see, I didn't arrive in this place with petals of roses on my feet; I arrived here with thorns. But I made a decision to surrender my life to the Lord and trust Him fully. And He gave me a promise. When I did, my outlook in life took a 180 degrees turn.
I thank the Lord for making me who I am now by allowing those thorns to hurt me. Now I can say that really, in all things God works for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).
I am very much expectant of God's surprises to me in the coming days. I thank the Lord that He is a promise keeping God.
What are you thankful for this week?
For more Thankful Thursday, visit Iris over at Grace Alone.
Woke up with a smile on my face. I just feel elated today. I love this feeling. Isn't it great to have this feeling everyday? Anyway, had my quiet time before finally getting up to fix my bed. I love God's message to me today. By the way, I'm reading from the Book of Job and Ephesians. These verses are very special because they're confirmations of God's promise to me.
"For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit." Ephesians 2:14-18
Anyway, I went to Salon de Matt in Pioneer this afternoon. This was recommended to me by my good friend Zenda. She frequents this salon so I guess they must be good.
G/F RFM Corporate Center, Corner Pioneer and Seridan Sts., Mandaluyong City
(+632) 747-01111, 637-9289, (+63915) 877-9311
salon_de_matt@yahoo.com
The salon was easy to locate. Not far from my place so it's convenient. The staff were very friendly and very professional. Blatant voices of laughing and gossips of salon staff while doing my hair or nails are my pet peeve. Thank God my experience in this salon was very pleasant.
You know, I'm not very adventurous with hair styles and hair colors. I always prefer to be on the safe side. That's why I had the same hair style for decades. Then I woke up this morning and decided to go for a new do and throw all my apprehensions out the window. I'm glad I did. *Grin*
Top: Rayann, Marvin & Rodel
Bottom: My hair stylists --- Marvin & Rodel
I was very calm while Rodel explained to me what he's planning to do with my hair. Professional as he is, I didn't get scared because he seemed to know exactly what he's saying. So I let him do his magic, then Marvin took over. I brought with me my own Revlon ColorSilk Luminista #120. This is safe to use because it's ammonia free. Honestly, I wasn't sure how my hair will look like after the application, but I wasn't about to chicken out on this. I gotta do what I gotta do and that's to suck it up and just go for it. As you can see, the changes still weren't drastic. I was quite happy with the result, but I still have a tiny bit of concern though. I'm not sure if I can fix my hair the way they did when I take a shower after a long day.
Today is a very special day. It's my 38th birthday.
This day is very special for me because more than the greetings I got from friends and family, more than the material gifts I received... God gave me a special gift today. It's my realization of who I am as ME. It's like when you have this jewelry box all your life then you discovered it has a secret pocket inside, that's the kind of excitement I have right now.
My gigantic Oreo cake
Lunch with my Sun Life family at Epiphany, Global Cuisine Redefined
It's like you know something that others don't. Can you picture what I'm saying?
I feel very empowered with this radical peace I have inside. Peace that I know only God can give. Peace that surpasses all understanding. It's the feeling of knowing what belongs to you and in spite of all the tricks the enemy darts at you, you know and you know and you know that there's nothing he and his pawns can do to impede its way from finding you.
Have you ever thought you lost something? Maybe a piece of jewelry or a sale? But you know in your heart that if that belongs to you, it will find its way back to you? Sweet!
That's how I feel. It's very liberating.
Some of my presents... I heart!
Of course, I will be forever grateful for friends and family. They are blessings from God. I also thank the Lord because I have so much love in my heart and it's overflowing. I have so much love to give. Now that I finally found my true source of happiness, I know my well will never be emptied.
I’m back in China and I have time to blog again. Back home, I was swamped with backlog at work and my schedule was just chaotic. I had a few days off from work though when I went to Boracay for a short vacay. Stayed atShangri-la’s Boracay Resort & Spa. And true to it’s name, I did go to a faraway haven of idyllic beauty and tranquility. Truly a paradise on Earth. God has been so good to me for all the blessings I’ve been receiving and favors I’ve been getting even from people I don’t really know. God rocks! =)
Doesn’t this look like paradise on Earth? This was the view from my room. Click photo to enlarge.
Looking at that photo and reminiscing my experiences there, I can’t help but be in awe of God’s love for me in spite of all the painful experiences I’ve gone through in life. I know in my heart and in my spirit that God hasn’t forgotten me yet. He is mindful of me.
Anton, me, Io & May
My friends and I on board Shangri-la speed boat that brought us to the island.
Enjoying the sun with my shopping buddy, Anton.
Enjoying the water with friends
Fun!!!
These things were results of my hard work and God’s favor last 2010. I wouldn’t have achieved all these without God’s help. He was not just my provider. He’s also my cheerleader. I couldn’t thank the Lord enough for everything He’s done.
30th Macaulay Club Marketing Congress
30th Macaulay Club Awards Ceremony at One Esplanade.
I believe that this is just the beginning of all the beautiful things that will be happening in this season of my life. There's so much more to come, and I'm praising God in advance for them.
I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but then again I have been feeling this way for weeks now.
I woke up feeling panicky. I thought it was just me. Then, when my friend Zenda came by and told me how she was lately and how some of her friends would call her and tell her how they were lately, strangely, we're all in the same boat. I wonder why? Could it be because of age?
Did you ever get the feeling of huffing and puffing like you're running after something and something's running after you?
I feel exactly that way. It's like I have loads of stuff to do and I'm petrified because I don't know how and where to begin. At the same time, I am overwhelmed with how fast time flies like it's going to outrun me.
Could it really be because I'm pushing 40?
George Carlin's Views on Ageing
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about ageing that you think in fractions.
'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life .... . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony..YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I was JUST 92.'
Then a strange thing happens.. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
A friend brought me cake this morning. We chatted a bit. She told me about her aunt who recently came back from the States for a short vacation. Over dinner, her aunt kept asking her about her personal life --- how she feels now that she's 38 and still single. My friend just gave a simple answer. She said, "I'm not worried now, maybe tomorrow I will be. What's important is I focus on what's on my plate now. Right now, what's on it is that I have to finish training this week. (That's her job, she does training)."
She's right. I realized that I always have to remember to look on what's on my plate. I can't get worried over something that's not on it. It simply means that what's not on my plate is something I don't have control over, so why worry?
Now I'm passing the question on to you. What's on your plate?
I like what our pastor said last night. He said, "Whether you believe it or not; whether you accept it or not; whether you acknowledge it or not, doesn't matter. God is still in charge."
"From the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do." Isaiah 46:11
"He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning." Daniel 2:21
These verses illustrates clearly that God has the power to fulfill everything He says and that He has the power to change anything. God is in charge. He is in control.
"This is what the LORD says to his anointed, to Cyrus, whose right hand I take hold of to subdue nations before him and to strip kings of their armor, to open doors before him so that gates will not be shut" Isaiah 45:1
He can use even a pagan king, King Cyrus, the appointed one, to facilitate His divine plan. Here, it clearly illustrates that our unsaved loved ones can be used by God Almighty to carry out His righteous purpose. God knows how to get their attention. He is in control.
"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9
He knows what He is doing. He is in control.
As I reflected on these truths and pondered upon them, I was encouraged to be reminded of these truths:
God hears our prayers.
He has a plan for us.
He knows what He is doing. He had everything planned out already.
I can trust Him to do what He said He'll do.
He is in complete control of anything and everything on this Earth including my life. He can destroy and restore. He has the power to do anything.
He speaks not only to His people but to unbelievers and backsliders as well.
Are you, like me, waiting for something you've been praying for for quite some time now? Does it look like it's not going to happen anymore? Does your situation look impossible?
Stand strong. Keep believing. Keep thanking Him because our due season is closer than we think. All those dreams and desires God wanted us to accomplish, those situations we are believing to see changed, will happen! God can use unlikely situations or people to carry out His rescue.
Lord, I praise and honor you for what you have done and for what you're about to do in my life. Thank you that you are in control. Thank you that I can trust you with my dreams and desires you put in my heart to be fulfilled. I give you back all the glory. In Jesus' mighty name, amen!
I saw my friend Bob, a former coworker, got out of church several Sundays ago. I was surprised to see him there but was happy too that he's attending church already. I saw him twice on two different Sundays. Same time, same place. I'd normally see him walking out the glass door while my friends and I were in line for the next service waiting for our turn to go in.
Yesterday, I was again in line waiting. And as usual, people walked out the glass door. I didn't see my friend.
I got a text message this morning from my friend Julius. He said Bob passed away yesterday. Cardiac arrest. =(
I was shocked, but I knew in my heart he's with Jesus now. I realized God called him to church before his time came. Glad I saw him at church one Sunday and said hi to him, not knowing it would be the last.
Seven years ago this song was played while I was walking down the aisle. I specifically chose this because of the meaning of the song and it still stands true up to this day...
For my friends who don't speak my language, this is the English translation of the song. It's not in sync with the music, but I just want you to be able to somehow understand the essence of the song.
You
You are given by God (God sent) The answer to my prayer So that for all time I'll love you every chance I have
You are the light of my life The other half of my heart Not for a moment will anyone be able to take your place Now and forever, it'll just be you
You are the reason for everything I do If ever I look forward to tomorrow It is because of you Forever is not enough Because every moment, every second I will love only you
"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in us will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
Tomorrow is a special day for me. It's my 36th birthday.
Last Thursday on TT, Lynn reminded us to count our blessings.
I am. And it far outweighs the not-so-good things that happened in my life.
The Lord never left me when I was in so much distress. His promises helped me regain strength to face the world again. I know in my heart that He favors me. I know that I'm on the road He wanted me to take. And at the end of this road, I will receive everything that He had promised. I know I will see His glory in the land of the living.
Tomorrow, as I celebrate my birthday, I only have one wish.
And I will make that wish after I blow my candles.
I have so many things to thank God for. And truly I'm grateful. I can see how God is fixing my finances little by little. I have been praying for this for years. Now I can see developments. God has been opening doors of opportunities for me to earn extra here and there. He blessed me with friends who express their willingness to extend a helping hand when I need it. I have been praying for my friends and I celebrate with them for answered prayers. God has been good.
And yet...
My heart is heavy. My heart cries out to the Lord for help. I couldn't put to words how I feel... I know my prayers, our prayers are not in vain. There's again an invisible tug o' war going on inside me. I'm trying my best not to cry, while I'm typing this.
To all who have been praying for me, I thank you. I know that in spite of this overwhelming emotions I'm having now, your prayers have helped me get back on my feet and run the race God has called me to. Your prayers have served as my "wheelchair" at times when I feel like I can't go on any longer. That's why I'm grateful for prayer warriors.
I pray that soon, very soon, I'd be posting a Praise Report about my heart's desire and say,
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:7
I'm one exam away from getting my insurance agent license. Yipee! This was why I've been missing out a lot on blogging lately. Why I'm into insurance is a totally different story. I'll tell you why next time. Yesterday was our last day of seminar and we had our graduation. Yes, you read it right. Can you believe that? I had another graduation this year, my second! They presented us with our certificates of completion and had our pictures taken too. Nothing extravagant. We weren't even prepared for it, well, at least for the picture-taking part we weren't. But it felt good having completed another course and passing the exams. When it was almost over, I saw my situation in light with the ceremony. I said in almost a whisper, "God, when will I graduate from this too?"
Like the classes and seminars I took, God also gave me "seminars" and series of exams in life which I needed to pass to get on to the next level. You and I are all in a class learning about LIFE. And our Great Professor who patiently teaches, guides and instructs us, also gives us assignments and tests. He appoints different assignments for each of us. This is my assignment in life. The truth is, it's very hard. I believe I started getting a passing grade just last year when I decided to obey Him. I started practicing what He taught me even when it hurts. It took a long while before I finally gotten sick of failing in my LIFE exams. I realized I wouldn't fare well in my "report card" with a rotten attitude. Not a chance!
How are you doing with your assignment?
Hmm... I wonder when will the Great Professor let me graduate again... a third time? I know... no, I'm sure that that graduation will top all graduations I've ever had in my life. And you know what? I'm excited!!!
I used to hate Holy Week. I really didn't have the understanding back then what Holy Week was all about. All I can remember was I had to be sad because Jesus was dead. We used to go to my grandma's house in the province and stay there almost the entire week watching men whipped themselves and get crucified... yeah, to lessen their sins. That really didn't make sense to me even at a young age.
Thank God that changed!
I thank the Lord Jesus for dying not just for my sins but for my physical and marital healing as well.
I thank God that Jesus is risen. My hope is not in vain because my Lord lives!
My Savior, He can move my mountain... He is mighty to save!
May all of us experience the power of Jesus' resurrection.
Everyone needs compassion,
Love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.
Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Saviour;
The Hope of nations.
Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.
So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.
My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.
Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus (x2)
I stayed up late last night to watch President Barack Obama's inaugural speech. I didn't want to miss this event which is forever stamped in America's history as being the first black president of the United States of America.
I remebered the song by 2Pac - Changes, and part of it says, "And although it seems heaven sent, we ain't ready, to see a black President."
I knew this would happen without a shadow of a doubt. It's just a matter of time. And that time is NOW. The whole world witnessed this much awaited but also much skepticized occurence ever in the history of America.
This made me realize that everything in this world is subject to change. If your life right now is messed up, I have good news for you. That too is subject to change. And this also proves that when God says, "It's time," He means IT'S TIME.
For 2009, I made a list of things I wanted to buy as well as a few items of must-do. The things I wanted to buy include a white notebook, an LCD, a shoe cabinet and a few more stuff that are important to me. On my must-do list, there's my prophylaxis, my annual check-up and the likes. On top of these, I also have my daily to-do list.
For some, this habit is rather peculiar, but not for me. I get a sense of satisfaction knowing that I've accomplished the things I needed to do for the day. It keeps me busy and it gives me peace that everything is in order. Don't get me wrong though, I do what I can the best way possible but leave those I don't have control over to God.
Tonight, I'll have a new set of to-do list for tomorrow. And with much delight, I'd be crossing out the things I listed down last night for what I needed to do today.
