I am really disappointed with myself. I was disappointed with the way I reacted to my frenzied emotions early this afternoon. See, I got into a heated argument, ok… an ugly shouting match with a neighbor friend because of a ridiculous miscommunication which resulted in an awful tangled mess.
What I thought was a harmless and casual conversation turned into a disaster because someone thought that she heard "trash" when what I said was a totally different word. I won't go into any of the details, but what I realized was that that situation brought my doppelganger out of Pandora’s box once again.
I knew that in my younger years, I had a fiery temper. I thought that I managed to tame that temper; I thought that nothing would bring it back… I was wrong. I lost control and said things that I shouldn’t have. I felt sick to my stomach thinking that I was such a disappointment to God. I wish it didn't happen, but it did.
I learned a painful but important lesson today.
I should think first before I act, especially when I am angry. I have to learn to step back and think first before acting on impulse. Above all, I realized that God isn’t finished molding my character. I am still very much a work in progress.
By the way, I am back at Fuda Hospital with Dad for his fourth nano chemo session.
2 comments:
Dear Pia, we are all made of clay and I have lost control mf myself many times. The Holy Spirit convicts me and when I look at myself in the mirroer -God' s Word , I realize where have erred.
God is working in your life, your post is a witness to this. Hugs
Don't blame yourself too much. We are all works in progress and sometimes we unknowingly slips. God allows that to happen so that we will ground ourselves more to Him than to our own faculties. We must always be aware that whatever we do, say or think will always have a bearing to the name we carry either to His glory or shame. Let us not give the devil something to gloat about in the heavenlies. Thanks for the post. God bless you always.
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