Holding On

I wasn't really up to doing anything yesterday. Up until now while I'm typing this, my heart is hurting so bad. I'm fighting back tears. My story is not new to a lot of you who knows. My blog had become a collection of roller coaster of emotions, mostly struggles and pains. I pray to God that this will be changed in the days to come but right now this is the story of my life.

I feel so much pain. I cried out to God for justice since last night. God knows how much I desire to please Him and to give Him glory in everything I do. I know that God is also aware of the injustices being done to me by people whom I consider family. I was crying out to God last night during our prayer and worship. I know He sees everything. This verse kept repeating over and over again like a broken record in my head,

"Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood." Isaiah 54:4

There's another verse but I couldn't remember from what chapter it was which our friend Angie kept quoting in her Fearless Friday posts, "...and you will not fear bad news."

In my heart I was asking God that He talk to me. I needed to hear from Him to get the heaviness off my chest... He did. He spoke to me in such a way that I wouldn't miss it. God reminded me that He will fight for me against my enemies and give me VICTORY. If God is for me who can be against me? The song we sang has a part there that says, "God will give back your wasted years." He reminded me through Pastor Mary from our church that He is a God of reconciliation and He heals broken relationships.

The enemy may seem to be winning. It just looks like it. But God will never allow me to be beaten up by them. Though it hurts, my God knows, I am still holding on believing for my breakthrough to come anytime soon.

"With God we will gain the victory, and he will trample down our enemies." Psalm 108:13